5 Easy Steps to Turn Your Life Around–Step 1 « ChipEFT on…
5 Easy Steps to Turn Your Life Around–Step 1
Anyone can turn their life around no matter how dire their situation seems. Granted, if you are tied to a stake and fire is being put to the kindling, it would have been easier to turn your life around had you started a tad sooner.
For most of us though, using five easy steps gives us plenty of room to turn things around. Even easier, none of the steps actually has to be completed before you will start to see results. All you need to do is make it your intention to complete the steps, and then start following through.
Let us begin.
Step 1 – Make a Commitment to Take Control of Your life
No two people have an even remotely similar thought process. But when it comes to controlling our life, there are two distinctly different worldviews: “I am the effect,” or “I am the cause.”
The first is the most common and widespread view as far as we can see back into history. In this view, we as humans are born into a world (mostly hostile) in which our experiences are dictated by people, circumstances and events that happen to us—germs, war, genes, environment, villains, accident, and luck. This is the dominant point of view of society, religion, government, and most of our ancestors.
To a person enveloped in this worldview it is very comfortable and safe, because: 1) Anything that goes wrong is not their fault; others are to blame. 2) Struggle with adversity is seen as noble. And 3) their parents and just about everyone else they know see the world this way.
Although the “effect” worldview is the norm, people who participate in this worldview tend not to feel very good because life is a constant struggle.
The second worldview, “I am cause,” has been around for a long time, but it has recently gotten a lot more public attention. In this worldview, each person creates their experience through their thoughts and attention. The Universe, in fact, rearranges itself around their habits of thought and expectation by means of the Law of Attraction – also known as the Universal Organizing Principle. People who live this way create the life experiences they want by choosing thoughts in alignment with what they want – in other words, thoughts that feel better.
It is important to know, however, that you don’t need to be highly disciplined with all your thoughts to turn your life around. You just make a commitment to take control of your life and start working in that direction, in baby steps at first if needed.
Step 2 – Watch Your Language
I don’t know how many times I heard that rebuke when I was growing up. LOL!
The whole idea of controlling one’s thoughts seems overwhelming. It is. And if you try you’ll have as much fun as herding 100 cats. But we don’t need to control every single thought. Some thoughts are just whim of fancy. Just because you imagine your audience naked, it doesn’t mean they all start taking off their clothes.
Likewise, exploring an idea will not bring it about. Wondering what your life would be like if you married so-and-so or if you had followed your instincts and turned down a job you hated, does not mean “reality” will shift to make it happen.
If fleeting or exploratory thoughts don’t manifest, what kind of thoughts do? The thoughts that manifest are sustained thoughts – habits of thought and expectation. Unfortunately, we may be the last to know what our habitual thoughts are, because – for us – they are the norm.
One way to identify our thoughts is by listening to what we say. The outer evidence of your sustained thoughts is embedded in the words you say on a day-to-day basis, both to the people around you and under your breath to yourself.
Watch your language. Do you put yourself down? Do you glorify your struggles? Do you argue that your pain is worse than someone else’s? Do you tell people how bad you have it?
If hearing yourself is difficult and you are brave, ask a family member to point out to you your self-destructive or self-limiting language. (They might have to be brave, too.)
Here are some examples of language that might not serve you:
- I just look at a cake and it goes right to my thighs.
- I’ve got plenty of luck–and all of it bad.
- I’m squeaking by.
- All the good men are taken.
- My arthritis won’t let me do anything anymore.
Look and your words and see if they do not mirror your experience.
Do you feel better or worse when you say them?
The trick is to find something better to say – tell a better story.
- One piece of cake every once in a while will not affect my weight.
- I’m starting to have more and more good luck days.
- No matter what, things always work out for me.
- Somewhere out there is a good man hunting for me.
- I’m having more and more days where I can get out and have fun.
[For more on this and related subjects, see my new eBook, Tame Your Demon: How to Become Okay with Where You Are When Your Life Sucks.]
As you start telling your better story, it won’t take long before you start to notice that things in your life are shifting to support your new story.
Step 3 – Find a Way to Love Yourself More
Some of us can find all kinds of reasons to judge ourselves harshly. Maybe our parents told us we were not enough. Maybe our circumstances feel like not enough. With our attention on everything that is wrong with us, it is easy to see why we overlook the simple truth: We are a being of light and love, living in a sea of light and love, inherently worthy of loving ourselves.
Here is proof.
You know from Law of Attraction that like attracts like. In other words, what you bring into your life is a vibrational match to who you are. What did you bring into your life right now? You are not reading Kitten and Puppy Hater’s Digest or How to Build a Fertilizer Bomb Using the BS You Hear on TV. You are reading this article, where I am reminding you that you are a being a light and love.
You are a vibrational match to me telling you that you are a being of light and love. That is who you are. And no matter how often your mother or father or husband or wife or sister or preacher or teacher or coach or officer or anyone else told you differently, you are showing your true vibrational alignment right here, right now.
You are also a very powerful creator. You have created all that is around you for as far as you can see. And while you may not like parts of it, what you have created is perfect. You may have forgotten why you created the parts you no longer like now, but at one time those too served you. And those things you created that you don’t like are not you, they are just your creations.
Let me ask you a question.
If Susie Homemaker burns her cake in the oven, is she that cake? Or has she simply created a cake that is not to her liking?
Similarly, the life you have created is not you. But you created it with the best of intentions – even the parts that are not to your liking–just like Susie did when she started baking her cake.
That said, how can you love yourself more? Well, here is a very simple formula for self-esteem:
- If you want low self-esteem, focus on those parts of yourself you don’t like.
- If you want high self-esteem, focus on those parts of yourself you do like.
To love yourself more, all you have to do is put your attention on those parts of yourself you do like, and appreciate them. You could start with the shape of a finger, or the beating of your heart, or the fact that you are a being of light and love. If the best you can do is to give yourself the benefit of the doubt that you might not be a bad person, you have achieved a big step. It can be that you like how you feel about puppies, or about smiling at someone, or knitting, or helping someone, or that you understand calculus.
You will like more and more things about yourself the more you think about it. List them. Appreciate them. Anything is fair game. If you like it about yourself, appreciate it.
But the truth is, you don’t need a reason to love yourself, because you are love. Needing a reason is as silly as asking the rain to prove that it is wet. If it weren’t wet, it wouldn’t exist. Love is why you exist.
Take a breath. Hit the pause button on the voice in your head and you will see: You are love.
I said in the title that these steps are easy. And this one is no different.
Step 4 tomorrow…
(c)2011 Chip Engelmann